I was in seventh grade, I had a crush on a cute popular girl who
shared several of my classes. One day, our teacher decided she would
show us how to do a folk dance. Being an overweight nerd, I of course
sat on the sidelines and watched. My teacher saw this and picked
a girl from the group for me to dance with--of course it was the
girl I had a crush on. I thought it was great to dance with her,
but as soon as we finished she immediately went to the sink and
washed her hands!
of all, I'm a guy.
morning while arriving at school in my car I misjudged a curve entering
the parking lot and hit my wheel so hard against the curb of the
sidewalk that it ripped a gash in my tire making a loud noise. That
was pretty embarrassing in itself given that there were a lot of
people around to see it happen and then watch me try to park my
car riding on a busted tire. Then I made my way to the school from
the parking lot trying to remain unnoticed. But that wasn't the
the end of the day when I went back to my car the tire was flat
on the ground. I was never a gearhead or much into cars so I'd never
had to change a car tire before, but I had the basic idea of how
to do it, however when I went to unscrew the lug nuts holding the
wheel I was too weak. Hard as I pulled on the wrench I couldn't
get the lugs loose. So I had to call AAA and a half hour later a
big mean overweight mechanic came over in a huge loud tow truck.
The most embarrasing part was having to stand there next to the
rumbling tow truck like some kind of damsel in distress waiting
for this big mechanic guy, bent over, showing the crack of his butt,
to change the tire for me, while people walked around and stared
at me thinking I was a big wuss.
school I always acted very interested in whatever the teachers were
showing us, because I could tell they got a lot of satisfaction
6th grade, our teacher had an aquarium in the classroom. During
free times I would often pay this aquarium attention, to let my
teacher know it was a worthwhile educational device. One day, while
watching the fish, I decided to tap gently on the side of the aquarium,
thinking this would demonstrate an even greater level of interest.
immediately my teacher bellowed: "Scott! What are you doing??
Would you like it if I hit the side of your house with a baseball
the rest of the day he referred to me as "the person whose
house I'm going to hit with a baseball bat tonight."
fourth grade, I attended a predominatly "rich kid" school.
This was the source of a catalogue of pathetic geek stories but
this, by far, is the most pathetic and geekiest. Not being of much
monetary stature, I was often teased and really didn't fit in. In
an attempt to be seen as cool, I (sadly) started to mimick the phrases
and actions of my friends. My favorite was this girl Ashley's "get
out of my facial" (which had actually been stolen from the
Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie). Anyway, in gym class one day, we
were playing volleyball. The fifth graders were watching us and
when my team won, one of the cool kids on my team, Holly, started
to blow them kisses and wave. Kind of like Miss America. The fifth
graders thought this was funny and laughed WITH her. I, seeing this,
did the exact same thing. She turned to look at me and glared The
fifth graders found my imitation exceadingly more hilarious, due
to my akwardness, and laughed ,much harder, AT me. From then on
I was known as a copier.
my head in shame,
This is something I was very upset by when I was little, but I think
my parents' reaction to it made me feel even more pathetic than
I was in second grade, my family moved to a small suburban town
in Massachusetts. I was a scrawny child with massive, thick pink
plastic glasses. On my first day of school, my glasses steamed up
and I staggered blindly down the aisle, unable to find a seat. An
older kid in the back of the bus yelled, "Hey! Helen Keller!
Over here!" I was horribly traumatized--when I finally told
my parents, years later, they thought it was terribly amusing. "That's
pretty clever," my mother said. "I didn't even know who
Helen Keller was when I was that age."
I was in seventh grade, I used to hang out with a girl who had a
really, really nasty older brother who harassed me whenever I went
to her house. Usually he shoved me into walls and made disgusting
insinuations about my sexuality, but one time he threatened to "pop
my head like a zit," then he flexed his biceps in my face,
just to make sure I got the point, and repeated, "LIKE A ZIT!"
I used to daydream about someone holding him down while I gave him
the beating he richly deserved. Then one day, that dream came true!
He was being so vicious and mean that his own mother sneaked up
behind him, pinned his arms back, and told me to punch him as hard
as I could. Much as I wanted to give him a bloody nose he'd never
forget, I was afraid that if I didn't hit him hard enough (I was
kind of whimpy), he'd just pick on me even more for being a weakling.
So I just stood there until his mom let him go.
i was 12, i got to attend a special summer program for gifted high
school students. i was really nervous because everybody there was
at least two years older than me.
was rooming with three 15-year-old-girls who were really nice to
me. they taught me card games and talked about boys with me. then,
during the last week of the program, i was walking down the stairs
to the dining hall when i heard them all talking to another group
of girls. they were making fun of my clothes, my flat chest, and
the fact that i hadn't even started to shave my legs. they told
the other girls they wished i would die so they didn't have to "babysit"
me anymore. i was mortified.
locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours. the dorm counselor
was furious at my roommates and made each one apologize to me from
the other side of the door and tell me how "special" i
was. when i finally came out, they were so mad that i got them in
trouble that they put shaving cream in my suitcase and gave me the
silent treatment for the rest of the time we were there.
the sixth grade, I was a late bloomer who read comic books. As a
girl living in a rural town, this made me quite the anomaly. One
day some of my friends who were "cooler" than I was came
over to hang out. When I left the room, they rifled through my desk
and found some comics I had tried to draw.
returned to find them laughing and jeering at my mediocre plotline
and large breasted women I emulated from the X-Men. I went into
the other room and cried, and they never came over again.
moved to a new school in 8th grade, and decided I was too "adult"
now for my nickname, Jamie, and changed to my real first name, Leo.
The first day a bunch of kids teased me for having a stupid name.
The next day someone called me a "tard" (short for retard).
Then someone put the two together, and from that day on I was known
as Leotard. I
changed back to Jamie the next day.
junior high school, I was ashamed because we were poor. We were
on welfare and lived in low-income housing in an otherwise affluent
neighborhood. So I lied about where I lived; I gave even my best
friends a fake address. If we were dropped off by someone's parents
or whatever, I'd make them leave me at the corner, and then I'd
hide until they drove off.
a friend and his dad were picking me up and I missed them at the
corner; they actually went to the fake address I'd given. When we
found each other, and they asked me about it, I STILL lied -- I
told them the old woman they'd talked to was my grandmother and
that she was senile.
in 7th grade, I went to school with a really bad cold. During study
hall, I was reading a "Hardy Boys" mystery, and because
of my cold I was sniffling, wiping my nose as well as my runny eyes.
After about 15 minutesone of the most popular girls in school turned
around to me and said "what in the world are you reading".
I showed her my Hardy Boys book (The Ghost of Skeleton
Rock or some b.s. like that). She immediately turned to yet
another popular girl and proclaimed me a "weird freak".
She thought that I was emotionally moved by the Hardy Boys!
I was in 6th grade, my friends and I got into this huge fight. It
was basically me against them, so I knew I had to pull out the big
guns if I was going to single-handedly beat them all in this war.
During one particularly heated exchange I blurted out smugly: "So?
Well my mom said that she doesn't like you guys!" I was sure
that would do the trick. Instead of getting upset though, they started
to laugh at me.
my school, the girls were merciless. Their insults were far more
hurtful than anything the jocks could think up. They went out of
their way to pick on me, even though I tried to avoid them.
Spanish class, I sat next to an attractive girl who was too smart
to be popular. She was always nice to me.
the last day of class, she invited me to make out with her. I was
so unaccustomed to being liked by a female that I didn‚t know
how to respond. I just stared at my desk. When class let out, I
got up and left.
never saw her again.
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