Pathetic Geek Stories

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I was in my High School English one day when my crush sat down next to me. I was a band nerd but decided to try to talk to him anyway. I started up a conversation and after a minute or so of talking to him he said "Oh you have a eyelash" he reached up to pluck it off of my cheek but when he did he got kind of weird and quiet and said "oh never mind" it was months later that i realized it was a stray facial hair that he was trying to get and not an eyelash.


In seventh grade, I was not a nerd, at least by adult standards. By kid standards, however, I had a lot to learn. The junior high was new and big and there were only a few kids I knew there. I read Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends, etc., thinking this book had to be popular for a reason. For example, during the gym class roll call, while we sat in neat rows of four, I cheefully pointed out to the girl next to me that although my last name was Irish, I too, shared her polish heritage. I also asked if she liked perogies and kielbasa, trying to find something in common. She told me to fuck off. The next day in the locker room, she demanded I help her take off her extremely tight pants by pulling the bottoms over her big stinky feet. My best friend stood by helplessly knowing I would be killed if I didn't comply. I was nearly late for roll call every day because I had to help "Diana" first. She also made fun of my flowered underwear, which I stopped wearing. I got some new plain pairs even though my mother did not want to spend money on underwear because of some bully. 20 years later, I purchased my first flowery pair since the 7th grade.


Please.... anonymous .... "Diana" is still out there.

It was the last day of school in sixth grade, and we had had an end-of-year class party. Everyone was cleaning up the classroom afterwards, and some of the other girls were goofing off at the same time, like collecting the streamers and pieces of string and tying them around their heads. Seeing this, I picked up a piece of string so I could play with it later, and was about to put it in my pocket, when Sarah came up to me. "


Give me that string," she said. I said no.


"Give me that string. You're just going to throw it away, anyway." I said I wasn't going to throw it away.


"Liar. Give me that string!" She grabbed the piece of string and tried to take it from me. It was tug-o-war, and it hurt my hand. She was stronger than me, and eventually, she took it from me and walked up. I was angry and upset and I began to cry, even though I tried not to. Another girl saw me and asked what was wrong, but I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was crying over a piece of string.


When I was in high school I was such an uber-geek that I was considered untouchable by the girls in my class. By the time I was in tenth grade however, I found myself going to other schools for science bowls and mathletes and such quite a bit, and I would get notes from the other geek girls there, who were interested in me.


I never responded to them, though.

—Brian P.

My story may be too lame to mention but….


I was in the freshman in HS back in 85 and had picked up the all encompassing diversion of having a PC when PC’s were apple 2’s and Radio Shack TRS-80’s and people who used them starred in movies like ‘revenge of the nerds’. Do pathetic geeks watch ‘revenge of the nerds’ and feel a sense of belonging? I know I did.


One day my algebra teacher announced to our class how there was some sort of fund-raising raffle to benefit the HS basketball team. It was a 50-50 raffle with a cash prize for the lucky ticket holder.


Trying to come across as some sort of Einstein and thinking that algebra teachers had an intrinsic interest in computers, I mentioned to him, in class, surrounded by my classmates, that if I won the 50/50 that I would buy an ‘expansion interface’ for my TRS-80 at home. My teacher looked at me like I was speaking in tongues and I was dealt a bucketful of derision from my classmates including the girl I had a crush on throughout HS. Until that moment I was able to fly under the ‘geek’ radar with my classmates and generally avoid derision targeted at my ‘geek’ weakness. I had ‘outed’ myself as another ‘Gilbert Lowell’.


One night after an 8th grade dance, some friends and I walked to a grocery store and bought a bag of mixed candies -- gummi bears, gumballs, jelly beans, you name it. Being bored and stupid, we sat down on an embankment outside the store to eat it, and soon got the idea that it would be fun to throw the candy at cars passing by.


After hitting one car's windshield with a Swedish Fish, the car came screeching to a halt and the driver came running after us. We fled into the store and tried to hide nonchalantly among the aisles.


But the guy recognized our clothes and hauled us to the front of the store, where he called the cops and told them we were throwing rocks at cars. The cop came and yelled at us for being "juvenile delinquents," then sent us home, crying, to our parents.

—Laura M.

In high school I always aspired to be one of the cool kids. It seemed obvious that they would welcome me into their circle when they got to know me. To me they were incredibly glamorous.


Every morning when I got ready for school I would struggle with a cowlick that was the only thing preventing me from entering their brotherhood. I inevitably ended overpowering it with water to get it to lay down.


During winter mornings my walk to school gave the water plenty of time to freeze.


I was a little puzzled but also happy to be invited to sit with the cool people during homeroom, the first period of the day. The group seemed to be always smiling at me.


Only years later did a friend tell me that they let me sit with them so they could watch the ice melt, the water run down my forehead, and the hair stand back up.


I grew up in the country in rural Wisconsin (Pepin - in the late 70's, early 80's) and I was a strange kid that wasn't really aware of some correct social behavior of normal kids—like behaving like a "kid." I had very good manners, but I spent a lot of time with my divorced, disabled father and I didn't know about the normal kids lifestyle—like sports or movies or music. I went to a Twins baseball game when I was 12 for a school event. A friend and myself didn't fit on our grade's bus so were stuck on a bus with kids in the grade ahead of us. We were both getting mildly picked on; like told to stop looking at them and how badly we smelled—I was a dirty kid. The bus ride was going to be a miserable two hours ride. The older kids offered us a 1/4 full 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew which I perceived as a peace offering and that maybe I was being accepted as the smart, interesting, and funny kid that I thought I was. My friend and myself guzzled the soda that was a gift from the older kids, who appeared to hate us before, with a fervor to show our appreciation. While I had the bottled tipped up to the bus' roof, we had passed it back and forth a few times, my friend noticed the chunky, white goobers floating in the yellow soda. Somehow I didn't throw up then, but I gag everytime I think of this awful moment.

—Jim F.

I was 9 years old and I went to the movie "Time Bandits" with my little sister. When the lights came on at the end I saw one of my friends down near the front row. I went to say hello and noticed another one of my friends nearby. And then another...and another....and another. It was a birthday party that I had not been invited to. My friends were a bit uncomfortable having me there, but when my mother came to pick me up she saw I was with my friends and told me to go with them. I attached myself to the group, but since the movie was the climax of the party I only got to ride in the car with everyone while the birthday boy's mom dropped everyone off at their respective houses. And because the birthday boy lived near my house, I was dropped off last.

—Mark S.

I've been wearing glasses since I was about 3 years old. Around the time I reached high school, I became convinced that my unattractive apperance was all because I wore glasses. (it was actually because I was short and had bad skin). So one day at school, I decided to spend the rest of the day without my glasses, only wearing when I'm actually in class. I saw a good friend of mine in the hallway, so I walked up to him, gave him a pat on the back, and asked him "What's up? how do you think I look?" After about 5 minutes of silence from my friend, I finally put my glasses back on and realised that I had actually walked up to some other kid that I didn't know at all. After the guy commented "That was gay", I quickly walked away without saying a word. I still wear glasses today.


When I was 13 or so my family moved to texas, where the other girls were pretty rich and had fancy clothes. I didn't fit in, I was quite unsophisticated and from Minnesota. Everyday the school counselor would call me out of class to talk about my adjustment, and encourage me to make friends. But, school counselors just don't understand that you can't make friends across those kinds of class lines! She gave me 2 free ice cream passes for the cafeteria and told me I HAD to give one pass away. This would earn me a new friend. I used one pass for an ice cream cone and spent all lunch hour trying to give away the other pass. No one would take it and they just looked at me weird. I am sure it made me even geekier. I later threw away the pass and told the counselor that I had given it to someone. Ahhh, to be young again eh? hehe.

—Katie M.

As I was walking back home from school (4th or 5th grade...don't recall), I noticed this guy (probably a teenager...maybe 18) sitting on the steps in front of his house talking on the phone. I thought, "Hmmm. He's kinda cute. I wonder if he'll notice me." So as I passed his house I started walking a little sexy and stared in his direction with what I thought was a provocative look. He noticed me all right. He said, "What the hell are you looking at?!" My throat tightened and my heart was about to pound outta my chest. I stopped looking at him and started walking a lot faster, and ever since then, I'd make sure I didn't see him outside before I ran past his house.

—Amy L.


In junior high, my friends and I were being driven to the mall by one of my friend's mother. I had a very prominent cold sore at the time and one of my friends asked me if I knew that cold sores were a form of herpes. Embarrassed already about the huge sore on my lip, I quickly tried to make light of the situation by saying "Yeah, no more blow jobs for me!" Everyone shot me a look and my friends' mothers wouldn't let them hang out with me anymore after that.


In 5th grade, I was looking at my shirt, and I realized I could sort of see my heart beating. This made me real nervous, because I'd never seen my chest move like that before. Of course, my nervous heart started pounding even more. I panicked and raised my hand: "Mr. Watanabe, can I please go to the nurse? I don't know why my heart's beating like this!"


Mr. Watanabe stared at me and said, "Maybe it's because you're alive." I got a lot of shit for that one.


On the playground in 5th grade I was playing truth or dare with some "friends" of mine on top of the jungle gym. It came to be my turn and I picked dare. I was known for being a goody-goody, so they dared me to swear. "Just say "damn" or "shit", something easy", one said. I tried to get out of it claiming religious objections, but that made it worse. Getting frustrated, I climbed down and walked away , but they all followed and more gathered to see what was going on. By the time I reached the fence, the whole class was telling me to swear. I even tried to kick one of the boys to make them move back. Eventually one of the lunch ladies broke up the mob and they gave up. But today, I've relaxed and I'm a regular fucking little potty mouth. Long sad story.


In 9th Grade, I was the "new kid" at my school. Because no one knew me from the past, I was a novelty, even to the "cool" kids, and I tried to be in their group. One of the cute girls in my English class even seemed to kinda like me, and we would flirt during class.


About two weeks into the school year, my the English teacher had us reading "Romeo and Juliet" as a group. Not really a performance, just sitting at our desks, but with each part read aloud by one of the students. My teacher picked me to play Benvolio, a minor character who appears at the beginning of the story.


Maybe I had seen too many Shakespeare plays on TV, but for whatever reason, as the reading began, I spoke my lines in an obnixious, overly-done fake English accent. I wasn't trying to be funny--I just assumed everyone would be reading their lines that way.


I was mortified when the next kid read his lines in his everyday, normal voice (as did everyone else).


After that, the cool kids labeled me a dork, and the cute girl acted like I didn't exist.


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